Networking Like An Introvert

I’ve been an introvert for as long as I can remember. People drain me… which is not to say that I hate people. I don’t! I just find that after time spent in a group, particularly a group where I don’t know everyone well, that I need alone time to recharge. And so the idea of “networking,” quite honestly, scares the crap out of me.

When I think of “networking,” the image that immediately comes to mind is a bunch of professionals in work-social situation (a cocktail hour, say), striking up conversations with strangers and handing out business cards to anyone and everyone with whom they can make eye contact. And that’s 100% not my scene. But as someone with a business that is functioning but really still in its fledgling state, I keep getting the message that networking is a vastly important part of what I should be doing. I mean, if no one knows who Libby Wiebel is, then how are they supposed to know that she’s the piano teacher to call or the songwriter to solicit or the performer to hire? I’ve got to “get my name out there.” But it’s been very clear to me from the beginning that if I’ve got to do that by handing out business cards on the corner, it’s simply not going to happen.

But the truth is, nearly every time someone has just handed out a business card to me, I’ve just thrown that card away. Or sometimes I tuck it into my purse or wallet, and then months later when I get around to cleaning out said purse or wallet, I find the card, and I have no reference point for who that person is and why I might be interested in his or her car wash/veterinary service/day care/etc. It’s just some random person’s name and some random business name, and the card probably gets tossed. But at a class I took at the Community Business Partnership in Fairfax County, I remember the assistant director, Sonja Caison, saying (paraphrasing here), “Running around a room, handing out business cards isn’t networking.” And boy was I relieved to hear that. Though, I still wasn’t sure that I, an introvert with a healthy dose of “shy” thrown in, would ever be bold enough to figure out what networking actually is.

Here is where I’ll pause to say that social networking online is a whole different beast… and I’m not going to talk about that right now. What I want to talk about is how I woke up today and went over the events of the last two weeks in my head and realized… networking? I may actually be doing it! And doing it right! I mean, I’m by no means an expert. But I’m actually pretty damned proud of the job I’ve done recently. Little victories, eh?

So the biggest thing I’ve got going on is prep for my Girl Songs, Summer Songwriting Camp. In just two weeks, the first ever session of this camp in my studio will begin. I’ve been planning this for over two years. I’m beyond excited. One of the things that we’re going to do is discuss songs written by a number of singer-songwriters I respect. I’ve picked songs on different themes, and each day we’ll read lyrics for and listen to 3 or 4 different songs that relate to the day’s theme. Later on, I’ll do some writeups about the camp and I may post some lists then. Right now, I’m still finalizing things. I wanted songs that teen girls could relate to and songs that would inspire discussion. And as I was packing for Falcon Ridge Folk Fest last week, I realized that I’d likely have a chance to talk to some of the songwriters whose songs I will be using. (A very cool feature of the folk world is that the performers often make themselves accessible to their fans, so long as you are respectful of the very strange and boundary-filled relationship between performer and audience member.) So this weekend, when I ran into or had the chance to approach some of the musicians I admire, I did it. With the exception of one interaction (standing in a coffee line during some rain), I had brochures for the camp on me and I told the songwriters that I would be using their songs. I showed them the camp details and offered to send them a copy of the materials I’d be using with the students. And pretty much across the board, the folks I approached were excited A) about the camp and B) that I would consider using their music. 

Let’s just say that I was one proud introvert. I mean, despite the fact that I’ve met many performers and songwriters before, I still get a little star struck talking to folks for whom I have a great deal of respect and admiration. I always hope that I can maintain my composure and not come off completely awkward and bumbling and amateur. I think I managed to keep my cool reasonably well, though. And with these interactions, I walked away thinking… these people know my name. And even if they don’t remember my name, they will likely remember that some teacher/songwriter in the DC area is using their songs in a camp, so if I were to approach them again and jog their memories (I mean, they meet soooo many people), they would probably remember me. And that is networking. Or at the very least, it’s a step in the right direction.

I felt so good about myself that I decided, last night, that even though I was still exhausted from my Falcon Ridge weekend, that I would swallow my shy and go down to my condo’s National Night Out celebration. I mean, I was allergic to all of the food they were serving, and I had very little interest in seeing the fire trucks and police cars that stop by to sound their sirens for the kids. But these are my neighbors, and these are people who should know my name, too. So I strapped my guitar to my back, stuck some business cards and brochures in the gig bag pockets, and headed out. All I had to do was show up with my guitar, and people talked to me. (Note to self – introverted networking may be greatly assisted by props.) I had people ask if I played and that gave me the opening to say that not only did I play and perform and have a CD, but I taught, too. I gave out a handful of cards to people who inquired about lessons or about my availability on iTunes, and at the request of a few folks, I sat down and played a few songs. A handful of people gathered around, and even those who didn’t get to know my name were able to put a face to a guitar and will likely recognize that face in the elevators. And that, I think, is a bit of introverted networking, too. 

I’m by no means a pro at this. But it really is a relief to figure out that I can promote my business and still be myself. When people ask me about it, I will say that I knew that growing my business would be hard… but until I was in the thick of it, I didn’t know that it would be harder than I ever imagined. I also add, though, that it’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. More on that at a later date, though. Time for this introvert to shut down the computer and get in some people-time.